


“I must tell her”

by Smirella



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 02:41:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9799034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smirella/pseuds/Smirella
Summary: Watching “Let’s kill Hitler” for the umpteenth time, I wondered, when exactly the Doctor had gone from “This woman isn’t dragging me into anything” to whispering something obviously affectionate into her ear. So here’s my attempt on this. Please be kind as not only this is my first short fanfic (or rather: thoughts on a story) but I’m also not a native English speaker ;-) So proposals for changes or improvements are appreciated!





	

"Shut up Dad, I'm focussing on a dress size!" And with that, the kid in front of him regenerated into HER! River Song. That stunning, mysterious, sometimes frightening and oh-so attractive woman who had caused him a headache more than just once.

Last time he'd seen her she had finally revealed her big secret to him. The truth about who she really was. He had found it hard to grasp the whole impact of what he had learned though. 

But now, as she changed right in front of his eyes, it somehow became real. There she was... Amy's and Rory's daughter, the woman who had sacrificed herself for him in a library - or rather: would, from her point of view..., the breathtaking beauty who had kissed him so passionately at Stormcage - a kiss he certainly hadn't returned adequately enough. And a Time Lady! One of his kind. And she loved him... would love him, one day.

He'd always known there would be something special between them, ever since she'd whispered his name into his ear in that dratted library. But right now, he felt how this was becomming more than a mere knowledge! Where did all those butterflies in his stomach come from?

River looked at her new self in the mirror: "Look at that! Everything changes! Oh but I love it. I love it! I’m all sort of… mature. Hello Benjamin." 

Shortly thereafter she suddenly rushed towards him, forcing him to stumble backwards against the desk where there was no more way of escaping. As he slid onto the desk to make some more room between them she stepped right between his legs, stood close in front of him, her face just inches away, beaming with excitement. Shivers went down his spine. He could smell her very own, characteristic fragrance and felt both of his hearts skip a beat. He gasped.

"Concentrate, Doctor", he thought, "THIS is not the River you know. She is going to kill you, so pull yourself together now."

But as she spun around and her bottom pressed against him just for a few seconds, his mind started rushing again. That kiss... it had felt warm and soft and sensational.  
Sensing that she loved him from all her heart, he had still been unable to cope with the situation. He remembered her sad, painful gaze after his awkward reaction and all of a sudden felt so miserable about it. 

And now the tables had turned. Feelings he had buried long time ago made their way up to the surface, wanting to be expressed right now. But this River had very different feelings towards him. She was programmed to kill him. Oh how he wished to just escape this place and go back to HIS River and tell her how he felt now. But even if he could, he wouldn't have the faintest idea of what to say. What did he actually feel? He cared for her. More than that, even. And there was a desire to just press himself against her and breath in her smell. To run his fingers though her hair and feel her wonderful smile against his cheek...

"I must tell her", he thought, "before it's too late - one way or another..." Which reminded him again to concentrate on the not being killed part. 

Somehow he managed to outwit her attempts to grab a gun. But as he soon had to learn it was never meant to be a gun for him...

And here he was now, lying on the floor, facing his end. He had failed. Being the nostalgic idiot he was, he had let her poisen him in a second of inattentiveness. What would happen when he was dead? Wouldn't this create a huge paradox? Certainly it was the most painful paradox he could think of... 

"No", he thought in a last defiant struggle, "I'm not dead yet! This might be my last chance to tell her..." 

He looked at Amy and Rory with those sad eyes and murmured: "I need to talk to your daughter now..." 

River made her way towards him, looking a bit insecure and lost. When she kneeled beside him, bowing down, her curls tickled his face. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second.

"Find her," he whispered, "Find River Song and tell her something for me."  
"Tell her what?" She looked almost fearful now, but still moved a bit closer as she realized it had become difficult for him to speak.

"Tell her, I was an idiot. I don't deserve her abundant love. But nonetheless... I love her, too. With all my hearts!"

"Well, I'm sure she knows." River smiled awkwardly. He sighed and looked at her beautiful features one last time before everything around him went black and cold.

Silence and darkness were all there was left.

But then... Was he entering heaven? A warm light washed around him and he hesistantly opened his eyes. In front of him was River, basked in glowing regeneration energy. What was this impossible woman doing?  
"River... no..." 

She smiled her warmest smile, whispered "Hello Sweetie" and closed her eyes to kiss him. The kiss of life. And he knew, from now on, he wouldn't miss one chance to show her how much she meant to him!

* * *

_[I do not own any of the characters. But this version of the story is of my own writing, except for the literal quotes.]_


End file.
